'Tis the season to be with family.
A time filled with JOY, MEMORIES, AND HAPPY TIMES.
I don’t know about you, but the Holidays can also bring up stuff that is neither joyous nor happy.
Too much time with family can be…well…TOO MUCH.
How do we enjoy our family, our roots? The people who share our DNA. The ones we love, despite our differences? How do we work through moments that make us want to bristle?
We have to stay present.
Let me share a story with you….
I am the youngest, not just with an older brother (in the picture, I am in his lap) and sister (she is front, right) but I am also the youngest of 9 grandchildren (3 of which are pictured here) on my Mother’s side. Being the youngest I seemed to fall into a certain role* (scrappy and demanding).
*Disclaimer:oldest and middle children have their roles too and roles vary based on personality…. I am speaking from my own experience.
While this served me (or maybe it didn’t) in my youth, when I found it playing out in adulthood, especially at family gatherings; when things I had done or said in my childhood or teenage years, were brought up in my adulthood, I didn’t like it. I get it, when the family gets together, everyone starts reminiscing and re-telling stories. But too much of it can bring us back to a place we have certainly outgrown. I found myself getting scrappy all over again into my 40’s, feeling like a 12 year. Seriously, who wants to be reminded of things they said or did years…yes YEARS ago? I had a “moment” and I realized…
Just because we are with family doesn’t mean we have to live in the past. I needed to change my behavior.
…. Right then and there I stopped going back to it.
Now don’t get me wrong, your family members will, but you can stay the course and present to what is NOW.
I found this notion to be so freeing during the holidays.
“LET’S MEET WHERE WE ARE AT TODAY, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.”
Do this and repeat often:
Is it simple? Yeah. Easy? No
Comment below and tell me, where do you fall in your family? Oldest? Middle? Youngest?
Wishing you luck and Happy Thanksgiving,
This week I had to stop, pause and notice how in life, flow is all around us.
Just like in our yoga practice where we work to find balance between effort and ease,
in life we work to find the BALANCE in the flow.
Sometimes the flow requires us to speed up a bit (more work load, the holidays, taking care of a loved one)
Sometimes, the flow requires us to slow down (fatigue, illness, stress)
My question for you is, do you go with the balance of flow or do you fight it?
Fighting the natural ebb and flow of life creates upset and discourse; you feel misaligned.
Think of that go, go, go hustle, and how pushing yourself too much leaves you drained and overwhelmed.
Conversely, can you be too lax, letting life pass you by? Think of the ever-present Netflix and chill syndrome. It too is a misalignment of the flow. Too much Netflix and chillin’ leaves you lethargic and unfocused.
So, I want you to think of the natural flow right now in your life. Know that next week through the end of the year it will shift a bit. Make the adjustment. Make sure you are finding the balance for yourself, however that looks.
GO WITH YOUR FLOW.
I saw a Facebook post the other day that stated, "Chapter 11 begins".
It’s true. We are about to close out 2018 in exactly 8 weeks.
My question for you is…do you need to let go of some things as this year comes to an end?
There may be some physical things that you are holding onto (just this weekend I did a serious clothing purge).
Maybe it’s a long held story you have about yourself...
Perhaps, it’s a role you use to have, but this year things have changed (hello to my empty nesters).
Maybe it’s a relationship...
Whatever it is, it is on us and up to us to let go of the things that are no longer working FOR US in our life.
How do we do that you might ask?
YOU. LET. IT. GO.
Is it really that easy?
It is if we allow it to be.
I will leave you with one of my favorite Zen proverbs…
Let go or be dragged.