'Tis the season to be with family.
A time filled with JOY, MEMORIES, AND HAPPY TIMES.
I don’t know about you, but the Holidays can also bring up stuff that is neither joyous nor happy.
Too much time with family can be…well…TOO MUCH.
How do we enjoy our family, our roots? The people who share our DNA. The ones we love, despite our differences? How do we work through moments that make us want to bristle?
We have to stay present.
Let me share a story with you….
I am the youngest, not just with an older brother (in the picture, I am in his lap) and sister (she is front, right) but I am also the youngest of 9 grandchildren (3 of which are pictured here) on my Mother’s side. Being the youngest I seemed to fall into a certain role* (scrappy and demanding).
*Disclaimer:oldest and middle children have their roles too and roles vary based on personality…. I am speaking from my own experience.
While this served me (or maybe it didn’t) in my youth, when I found it playing out in adulthood, especially at family gatherings; when things I had done or said in my childhood or teenage years, were brought up in my adulthood, I didn’t like it. I get it, when the family gets together, everyone starts reminiscing and re-telling stories. But too much of it can bring us back to a place we have certainly outgrown. I found myself getting scrappy all over again into my 40’s, feeling like a 12 year. Seriously, who wants to be reminded of things they said or did years…yes YEARS ago? I had a “moment” and I realized…
Just because we are with family doesn’t mean we have to live in the past. I needed to change my behavior.
…. Right then and there I stopped going back to it.
Now don’t get me wrong, your family members will, but you can stay the course and present to what is NOW.
I found this notion to be so freeing during the holidays.
“LET’S MEET WHERE WE ARE AT TODAY, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.”
Do this and repeat often:
Is it simple? Yeah. Easy? No
Comment below and tell me, where do you fall in your family? Oldest? Middle? Youngest?
Wishing you luck and Happy Thanksgiving,