Mother’s Day is this weekend…
Traditionally, I get flowers to plant in my window boxes.  I hope the Michigan weather cooperates...
I love this tradition...but for me what I really wants is to be close to my daughters.  

​As I scroll through my Facebook feed, I see lots of images of “babies” that are growing up.
From the prom pictures, to the caps and gowns.  This season is definitely the season of transition and change.  
Make no mistake, behind every dance recital image, behind every bride walking down the aisle, there is a woman, who secretly tousles with HER changing role.
 
There I said it.
As our children grow up, our role in Motherhood changes and quite frankly, it sucks.
It’s not an aging thing. 
It’s not an I want to go back to that time thing.
 
It’s the primal role of mothering thing. 
It’s ride or die.
It’s fierce Mama Bear.
It’s the, mess-with-my-child-and-I-will-bring-a fury-on-you-so hard-you won’t know what happened.
It’s about protecting our young.
 
If you are this kind of Mom. I see you, I salute you, and I know you are struggling.  
I am there with you.
 
For so long I was Sydney & Kendall’s mom. Now before you say it, yes, I KNOW, I am still their mother, but it is different now.
I fully loved that role. I was in charge, I was the CEO (I can be sort of a bossy pants, so I was damn good at it).
And while I am still their Mom, I can no longer be Mama Bossy Pants…. I have to let them FLY.
They will fall in love with bad boys----my mouth must stay shut.
They will waste money------I cannot bail them out as they “pay” for their mistakes.
They will do reckless things----I will pray, a lot.
 
Part of Motherhood is learning how to let go.
Did you read that? PART OF MOTHERHOOD IS LETTING GO.
It’s a redefining of one of the biggest roles in life.
 
Your mother did it, her mother did it. Every mother does it.
And every good mom knows how hard it is.
 
Who knew the hardest part of Mothering had nothing to do with sleepless nights or changing diapers.
This is life.  It moves, it shifts, it changes.
What Mom really wants is more time with her children, her babies.  
We want to know we matter in your ADULT life. 
We want to continue to make memories with ADULT children.
So, while we love flowers, what we really want is a great relationship with our children when they are all grown up.

​WARNING: While I always try to inspire, this is a post that keeps it real.
 
Last year around this time, I was in the mist of some serious internal struggle.  My role as Mommy was changing. You see, my twin daughters where graduating from High School.    While I never thought of myself as a helicopter Mom, I guess I was dead wrong.   I was flooded with how fast it all happened.  I was hoping I had done all the right things, and truth be told I was wanting to hold on a little bit longer.  
 
I was single handedly running Unbound at the time, and still had to be up.  I had to “get it done” Can you relate? Inside you are feeling some type of way, but outside you have it all together.  
 
But the stress and tension that I was holding onto, was steadily settling into my body.  My neck and back had serious knots, and my stomach was always sick.  I pushed through.  Is that not what we do? 
More Life piled on even more with the unexpected death of my Dad. We had unresolved issues; and the upset once again made its home into my body.  I was in pain daily. I had so much STUFF I was not dealing with.  It was all so intertwined; family, upset, loss, resistance to change. 
What did I do?
I had to start practicing what I preach. I share this for two reasons:

1. We ALL struggle. Hear that…EVERYONE HAS A STRUGGLE. No one has it all figured out. I was showing up with a smile on my face, and at night crying in my pillow. DO NOT THINK everyone else has it figured out. If you are in that place right now…. I am here for you. Seriously, reach out via a private message.
2. I know that without a doubt Yoga + Pilates healed me. Period.

 
How did I do it? First of all, I had to get still. I was not being present.   Once I got still, a lot of stuff was coming up around loss.  I had to breathe into that, and I had to let it go.
(My life had changed whether I was down or not).
 
Once I was still, I had to breathe.  I mean REALLLLY BREATHE.  Deep breaths, rib moving breathes while being still.  This was grounding.  
Try it:

1. Lie on your back and get as relaxed as possible.
2. Start to notice your breath, moving in and out of your body.
3. Begin taking bigger deeper breathes. Feel it from your low belly into the upper parts of your chest.
4. I like to place one hand on my belly and one on my upper chest.
5. Do 10 cycles of breath and see how you feel.

 
Finally, I had to move my spine. CONSISTENTLY. Like every day.
         Flexion
         Twists
         Extension
         Side Bends
​This week I am showing you how on Facebook I am showing you how.  Check it out!
Listen, life is going to happen and there is such a relationship between the mind and the body.  So, while you may thing you are “stuffing it down”.  It will show up.  You must handle it. This process took time.  My work began in September, and I just realized recently, wow I’m doing better. I’m not so stressed.
 
 Remember be kind to yourself, you are so deserving.
 With Love,
​Courtney
 
 
 
 
 

​Oh, how I love Spring time!  
Just the other morning I awoke to the birds chirping.  I know it sounds corny, but just the little bit of light starting to filter in, and the sound of the birds was so cool. Then I went to the kitchen and out my window I saw a duck couple walking in my yard.  It was such a moment I called Kevin over and he too paused.
 
This pause is known as Ullasa.
Ullasa is the Sanskrit term for the feeling of pleasantness that we get when we experience natural beauty. Think of the ducks, or seeing tulips emerge from soil.  There is a little magic that happens within us when we experience it.
ULLASA is the magic we feel in Springtime.
 
Whatever it is, let this season bring it on. Enjoy this magic now because remember, everything changes.  One of my favorite workouts is to go outside to the stairs at Bloomer park.  
There is something about nature that absolutely grounds me; heals me.  I know you feel it too.  
 
Here are 4 ways to be mindful and to experience Ullasa as Spring emerges:

1. Walk on one of the many trails in town, get out in nature.   Be with the trees.  It feels so grounding to look at the buds emerging. 

2. Sit quietly by a picture window; watch and listen as the rain falls down.   It is April, so there   will be many opportunities to really feel the rain. 

3. Put your hands in the soil.  Getting in the garden feels like therapy.   Clear out the remnants of winter and plant some Pansies.  

4. Meet me at Bloomer Park.  Yes, for real.  I just love the stairs this time of year.  It is still, quiet and not buggy.  I will be there on Friday April 26that Noon for a Live (weather permitting).  I would love to have you join me.  If you are in...comment IN.  I hope you will join me.
​ 
If you end up enjoying some Ullasa, let me know. Do you have a friend that could use some inspiration this season?  Please forward this along.
 
XO
Courtney

Can you feel it?
 
Spring has certainly Sprung. And even though we may still have some chilly mornings, the season has changed. 
 
Maybe you are wondering, what the heck happened to the New Year?
Sorry sweetheart…It’s over. Yep, just like that.
 
Did you slay your resolutions? Have you lost the 20 lbs.? Did you give up {insert the vice that makes you feel bad about yourself}?
 
I know right now I am serving up some HARSH TRUTHS, but have no fear, I never leave you hanging.
 
The New Year sets us up for failure.  Mmm hmmm, that’s right.  How, you might ask? Well, picture this… 
You are coming off of a month-long party of alcohol, cookies, and over spending. Consider this an unbalanced state.  Then you decide on January 1styou are going to make a change.  Instead of making small doable actions over time, you decide to course correct BIG TIME by living on salad and a quarter of your paycheck, another unbalanced state.  You CANNOT sustain this and it literally falls to poo, because you cannot undo longstanding habits in the matter of a month; in fact, neuroscience tells us it takes lots, and lots, and lots of work coupled with time to retrain our brain. 
When we don’t do that, the result is ALWAYS the same:  we fall hard, going back to the vice, feeling bad about ourselves, and we further create a narrative about how this is hard, we will never change, and  I’m doomed…
 
Listen up…DON’T YOU BELIEVE THAT BULLSH*%#T!!!
 
What you need is a plan, and the plan starts with a little kindness and acceptance of yourself. What? Courtney you ask…. “shouldn’t I start drinking 100 oz. of water immediately? Isn’t there a boot camp I need to enroll in?” NOPE!  Read my lips…YOU NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!
Before you ask me “what kind of hippy dippy stuff are you spewing Court,” hear me out.
 
When we get to a certain age, we get really wired into believing our stories, and often, especially when we are struggling, our stories are tied to shame, guilt, frustration, even self-hatred.  There are not enough burpees in the world to fix that darlin’.  NOPE.  You must learn to be okay with yourself, with who you are, RIGHT NOW.  
 
Here are 3 steps to get you started, but they only work if you do them…. CONSISTENTLY.

1. Start listening to your inner voice. What is she saying to you?  Is she a cheerleader or a mean girl?  I’m going to bet the ladder and YOU have to shut her down, real quick.
2. Move Mindfully; Every. Single. Day.  Go outside for just a 10-minute walk, let it be mindful.  Feel good on this walk and be present. (I am making this easier because I have a LIVE meditation happening on Friday 4/12/19 at 12pm EST).
3. Be Grateful. Every day I name 4 things that I am grateful for.  One day it was Gigi’s Cupcakes in East Lansing…but I digress. But seriously though what are the small things in life that bring you joy. Your family, your pet. Say thank you….

 
This all may sound simple but see if you can do this consistently for the next week.  And don’t forget, this Friday I will be Live at 12 Noon for a quick moving meditation.
 
Best,
 
Courtney
 
P.S. Sharing is caring…. Know someone that can use this message? Please forward it along, because we are all in this together.
 

Is it hot in here or is it just me?  
Oh god no. 
This can’t be…
Seriously why am I the only one dying here?
CAN WE OPEN UP A WINDOW? IT’S SO FREAKIN’ HOT IN HERE!!!
{Can you relate?}
 
Yes, this has been happening a lot to me lately, and at first, I was in denial, and 
Then finally I had to come to some hard truths.  I was experiencing the beginnings
Of “the change”.  I actually laugh at that phrase “the change” because I think that is what my Grandmother would have called it; along with {clears throat and whispers} “private parts”.
 
I laugh because that is so not me.  I don’t want to be secretive about this.  I needed to know what the heck was going on!
So off to the library I went, grabbing any and every book on the topic. Googling Hot flashes, Night Sweats, Sleeplessness, Weight Gain, you name it; I’ve researched it.  And I learned a lot.  
 
You see I thought I was in Menopause. I learned that Menopause actually occurs when you have not had a period for 12 months.  I was actually in Perimenopause.  This usually occurs around the age of 45, give or take a few years. Perhaps you are reading this, and you too are in the midst of this change. 
 It can feel daunting, can it not? The mood swings, the sleepless nights…And jeez, just when we get the kids launched and can finally have wild sex again there is no interest?
 
Yep this is all happening. 
The reason? HORMONES. 
 
The way I see it, there are 2 components to this “change” that needs addressing. The first one is physical, the second is mental.  Let’s break it down.
 
Physically as stated, our hormones are shifting and changing and doing a number on our body and mind. Yaaay, it’s the teenage years all over again, only now I have a family, a job, and lots of responsibility.  I don’t have time for it…CRAP.
 
 My first recommendation as always is to see a doctor. Depending on your level of discomfort, you may decide that you need medication to help combat the physical symptoms.   Seriously, there are all kinds of available treatments from Estroven, an over the counter product, to a low dose birth control pill.  Anti-depressants are also effective in some circumstances. You must talk with your doctor.  I believe in modern medicine and I also believe in holistic approaches.  So, for me, I have eliminated some major symptom trigger. I encourage you to do the same.
ELIMINATE THE FOLLOWING:
 

1. STRESS- Okay, at this point if you don’t know that stress is bad for you, I really don’t know what to say.  Try eliminating the little stressors in your life.  Don’t let yourself run late. Don’t put too much on your plate. Meditate.  Speaking of meditation…I have a new sleep meditation.  Keep your eyes peeled because I will be sending it out next week.

 

1. CAFFEINE- Okay before you shut this window down, hear me out.  Yes, there are some antioxidant benefits to coffee, but caffeine ain’t for everybody.  Case in point, me.  I love the taste of coffee in the morning, but it keeps me up.  I can’t drink caffeine past noon or I WILL NOT SLEEP. Because I was suffering from sleeplessness, I decided to eliminate it. So just like that I went to decaf.  I know some will say the Decaf processing is bad. I’m looking to sleep so……

 

1. ALCOHOL-Again, I know red wine has some benefits for the heart, which is a good thing. But we are looking for a specific benefit here; to keep our hormone levels balanced.  Red wine is loaded with sugar, and the alcohol can create sleep disturbances, so stay away if you are looking for a better night sleep.

 

1. NO SMOKING- This is like stress, it’s no brainer.  If you smoke you need to quit. Period. The benefit to your health will be 10-fold.

 

1. HEAT- This may seem no brainer too, but for me it wasn’t…at first.  I like to feel warm.  Maybe you do to. Well, at night the thermostat should go down.  Optimally to 62-65 degrees.  We sleep better, and of course we can avoid the pajama top drenching night sweat…The Hot flashes dreaded evil cousin.

 
So, these are tangible, actionable things to try.  Let me know if you do.  It takes time so plan on at least a month before you write it off as not working.
 
I have addressed the physical side of the hot flashes and the onset of Perimenopause, but the mental side is equally as important, and harder to address.
It’s really a B@#!CH. 
It’s the side that tells you, you are getting old. I personally had to ask myself, are you ready to embrace this next phase of life in a healthy body with GRACE & EASE?
My answer was YES.
 
You will need to ask yourself the same question.
You realize that it is work, and it is not easy.
You will have to get in the fight….
You will have to put yourself first…
You will need to rework old habits….
You will have to be so consistent….
Most importantly you CAN NOT make excuses.
 
I am so passionate about this journey I have renamed my Blog, THE MIDLIFE RESCUE
 
Come along this journey. Next week my podcast drops, THE MIDLIFE RESCUE.  I hope you will join me for more tips, insights and inspiration on your wellness journey.
 
Sprinkle lots of  LOVE!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Don’t mind me… I was just trying to capture a little bit of sun to bring to you from Florida.
Sunlight is essential to vitamin D and vitamin D is just plain essential…it’s not just about your bones.
Are you struggling with the winter blues? Are you longing for longer days, warmer temperatures, and some sun?
 
Trust me, I can totally relate. I have often joked that I really don’t belong in the Midwest.  My dark toned skin is perfect for the tropics; and my entire life I have muddled, no seriously struggled through winter. Even as kid I just didn’t like winter.  Maybe you can relate if you live this far north of the equator and Winter just isn’t your season.
 
I knew that Vitamin D deficiency was a real problem for people living in the North, but I didn’t realize it can really affect people in more than just feeling the winter blues. Lack in Vitamin D is linked to Depression, heart disease and dementia…to name a few. You can read more in this article.  For Midwesterners, or anyone north of Atlanta GA, it is important to get your Vitamin D and food isn’t enough, you must get in the sun. Details are outlined here.
 
Personally, I was feeling pretty down when I arrived in FL and just a few days in the sun was like magic. My energy levels improved, my mood lifted, and I can definitely tell a difference.  Be advised you don’t have to go to FL.  You can use a lamp.  I have one (but Florida was better. Hello sand between my toes).  I would recommend this model. I would also recommend starting to use it in November and use it regularly throughout the winter. 
 
Maybe you are struggling as you read this post.  I invite you to come back for my next post.  I will be sharing one of my favorite things for combating the Winter BLAHS. Hint: Its will make you think of Florida.

​How about what is hanging up in our minds?
 
About 3 years ago I came across the book: The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I am sure by now you have heard of the book…heck, the author has her own Netflix series (#goals). The premise is that by simplifying and decluttering our spaces, we will be happier. Her method in decluttering is to gather items in your room, closet, drawers, etc., hold them and see if they “SPARK JOY”.  If they do not, you should let them go. 
 
So, I went through my closets, and cleared my junk drawers to the best of my ability.  It was cool, and definitely the perfect late winter project. But after the fact I couldn’t help but wonder if what I really needed to declutter was some long-standing ideas I had about myself. Were my conversations to myself SPARKING JOY? Was I being a cheerleader in my own life?
 
You see we spend the most time with ourselves.  The words we use, the tone we use towards ourselves is incredibly powerful. How could we alter our lives if we just started tidying up our internal dialogue? What if it were made simpler? What if it SPARKED JOY?
 
How do we do this you might ask? It’s a process just like cleaning out a drawer or closet.  Instead of taking out an article of clothing to see how it makes you feel you become mindful noticing your thoughts and how they make you feel.  In that mindfulness, take stock of your thoughts. You notice the words you speak to yourself.  Are they kind, and supportive.  Do you sound like a cheerleader to yourself in the game of life?
 
Mindfulness begins in simplicity and in slowing down.  Soon you will gain awareness, and through that awareness you begin to change your thoughts and you will create a fertile, more self-caring mind.  Over time you SPARK JOY for yourself.  It’s like a closet full of your feel good, SLAY IT attire.
 
Now this doesn’t happen overnight.  In fact, it will honestly be a lifelong commitment.
But isn’t it important to tidy up the most sacred space that we live in?
 
Hugs,
 
Courtney

'Tis the season to be with family.
A time filled with JOY, MEMORIES, AND HAPPY TIMES.
I don’t know about you, but the Holidays can also bring up stuff that is neither joyous nor happy.
Too much time with family can be…well…TOO MUCH.
How do we enjoy our family, our roots?  The people who share our DNA. The ones we love, despite our differences? How do we work through moments that make us want to bristle? 
We have to stay present.  
Let me share a story with you….
I am the youngest, not just with an older brother (in the picture, I am in his lap) and sister (she is front, right) but I am also the youngest of 9 grandchildren (3 of which are pictured here) on my Mother’s side.  Being the youngest I seemed to fall into a certain role* (scrappy and demanding).  
*Disclaimer:oldest and middle children have their roles too and roles vary based on personality…. I am speaking from my own experience.
While this served me (or maybe it didn’t) in my youth, when I found it playing out in adulthood, especially at family gatherings; when things I had done or said in my childhood or teenage years, were brought up in my adulthood, I didn’t like it.  I get it, when the family gets together, everyone starts reminiscing and re-telling stories. But too much of it can bring us back to a place we have certainly outgrown. I found myself getting scrappy all over again into my 40’s, feeling like a 12 year.  Seriously, who wants to be reminded of things they said or did years…yes YEARS ago?  I had a “moment” and I realized…
Just because we are with family doesn’t mean we have to live in the past.  I needed to change my behavior.
…. Right then and there I stopped going back to it.
Now don’t get me wrong, your family members will, but you can stay the course and present to what is NOW. 
I found this notion to be so freeing during the holidays.
“LET’S MEET WHERE WE ARE AT TODAY, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.”
Do this and repeat often:

1. Deep Breaths
2. Be Kind
3. You don’t always have to be “right”
4. Enjoy the moment…. WHOLEHEARTEDLY

 
Is it simple? Yeah. Easy? No
Comment below and tell me, where do you fall in your family? Oldest? Middle? Youngest?
 
Wishing you luck and Happy Thanksgiving,

​This week I had to stop, pause and notice how in life, flow is all around us.
Just like in our yoga practice where we work to find balance between effort and ease,
in life we work to find the BALANCE in the flow.
 
Sometimes the flow requires us to speed up a bit (more work load, the holidays, taking care of a loved one)
 
Sometimes, the flow requires us to slow down (fatigue, illness, stress)
 
My question for you is, do you go with the balance of flow or do you fight it?
 
Fighting the natural ebb and flow of life creates upset and discourse; you feel misaligned.
Think of that go, go, go hustle, and how pushing yourself too much leaves you drained and overwhelmed.  
Conversely, can you be too lax, letting life pass you by? Think of the ever-present Netflix and chill syndrome. It too is a misalignment of the flow. Too much Netflix and chillin’ leaves you lethargic and unfocused.
 
So, I want you to think of the natural flow right now in your life. Know that next week through the end of the year it will shift a bit.  Make the adjustment. Make sure you are finding the balance for yourself, however that looks.  
 
In essence,
GO WITH YOUR FLOW.